He kissed a someone with a penis
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
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I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
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I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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