i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
