We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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