i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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