You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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