Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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