Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
