grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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