I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
