I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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