i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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