My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
