Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
