I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
