oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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