so that wasnt chicken after all
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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