I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
