I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
