I just cut my nipple shaving
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The struggles of a small town man whore
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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