my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
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