My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
