Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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