Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i dont even know how to be here
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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