Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
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In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
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We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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