My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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