I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
