You can't motorboat a personality
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
