You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
