I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
