But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Randomize
