I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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