So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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