I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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