i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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