I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
