I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
