i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize