totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
