You just made me feel so damn special
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
