My friends, they love my intelligence
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
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you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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