Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
tell your sister to shave her snatch
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
