dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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