puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
