ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
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