So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Less talking, more tequila
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
