We're like a lot better than the average bears
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
