So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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