I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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