dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
