did you get engaged???
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
