wake up i wanna do it froggy style
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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