Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Randomize
