I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize