I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
