Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
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Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
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I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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