i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
How external is "for external use only"?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
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