he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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